Terminology

[floit63]

This post got me thinking. How many of our arguments (either amongst ourselves or with others) stem from the fact that everyone has a slightly different interpretation of key words we use? I'm going to post a few different words that are rather important when discussing trans issues and I'd love it if everyone could go through and give their definitions of these words so that I can make a list for n00bs (all of them can be anon if you wish). My own definitions will be in the comments.

The Words:
Sex
Gender
Transgender
Transexual
Trans*
Male
Female
Man/boy
Woman/girl
Cisgender
Gay
Lesbian
Straight
Bisexual
Pansexual
Polysexual
Asexual
Ally
Stealth
Out (as in out of the closet, not as in out to the store)
Pride

Comments

[floit63]

Sex - Based on a combination of chromosomes, physical appearance, and organ structures. I tend to use male, female, ftm, mtf, and intersex rather than the standard male/female options. This is simply for medical reasons, it's a nice way to allow someone to look at your chart and know that you might have different needs from the other 90% of patients.

Gender - A self-identification. Man, woman, transgender, genderqueer, none, other, this is an area people can fully individualise. Identify as a flying rhino horn if that's what you feel like.

Transgender - A person whose internal gender identification does not match the one society has assigned to them. Can also be a gender identification all by itself. Ex: child assumed to be a girl, but insists they are a boy.

Transexual - A person whose birth sex does not match the sex they feel they should have. Ex: child born female, but wishes to have a penis.

Trans* - Umbrella term for anyone who does not fit standard gender norms. Genderqueer, transexual, transgender, polygender, non-gender, bigender, cross-dresser, etc.

Male - Physical sex. Can be used as an internal identification, particularly for transexuals, but can get a bit tricky. Also one half of what most people think of when they think of sex/gender.

Female - Same as above, but for people with vaginas, ovaries, uterus, etc.

Man/boy - One of an unlimited number of gender identifications. Takes he/him/his forms and is on one far end of gender presentations. Not ALL men/boys present in the same way, there simply happens to be a majority who agree on certain things (like not wearing skirts).

Woman/girl - Same as above, but for the other far end of gender presentation. Takes she/her/her's forms. Has a much wider variety of presentation options thanks to women's lib.

Cisgender - Someone whose internal gender identity matches the one people assume them to have. Problematic when used to describe others as we don't know what's going on in their heads (or their pants, for that matter).

Gay - Person who prefers to date/sleep with members of the same sex OR gender. I tend to use it to mean men who are interested in men, but that's just because I like the word "lesbian" and enjoy having opportunities to use it.

Lesbian - Woman who prefers to date/sleep with other women. By this definition transmen *cannot* be lesbians (nor can any other men, but you rarely see non-transmen claiming to be lesbians without getting decked).

Straight - Person who is attracted to people of the opposite sex/gender. Generally considered to be the most common sexual orientation.

Bisexual - Person who is attracted to people regardless of sex/gender. Often considered to be problematic due to there not being only two sexes/genders.

Pansexual/Polysexual - Person who is attracted to people regardless of sex/gender. Considered a better alternative to bisexual due to the inclusion of more than two sexes/genders.

Asexual - Person who is not sexually attracted to anyone. Can be emotionally attracted to people in the same way as gay/straight/bi/pan/polysexual people are. Same relationships, just no sex.

Ally - Person who supports the cause of a given group while not being a member of said group themselves. Ex: straight person supporting gay rights.

Stealth - Person who lives their life without other people knowing about their trans status. There are varying degrees of stealth so that while one person may have burnt every photo of themself prior to transition, others may simply not mention it to new friends/coworkers.

Out - As it relates to transpeople, a person who openly tells others about their trans status. Many transpeople are out to begin with even if they don't want to be due to passing issues. Also has varying degrees depending on personal comfort.

Pride - Giant parade/party every June (in the US, timing may be different in other countries). Often supported year round by the wearing of rainbow accessories. Sometimes trans-inclusive, usually not. Not all transpeople (or GLB people for that matter) agree with Pride. I love it and wish it could go on all year.

[downtide]

Bisexual - Person who is attracted to people regardless of sex/gender. Often considered to be problematic due to there not being only two sexes/genders.

I tend to consider myself bisexual rather than pansexual mainly because I am attracted to more masculine men and more feminine women. Although as far as physical "bits" go, I prefer a roll in the sack with a person whose bits are female, so I actually find other ftms more appealing than cisgendered men. I like rugged-looking men, I just.... don't like penis that much >.<

Not all transpeople (or GLB people for that matter) agree with Pride. I love it and wish it could go on all year.
I'm definitely in agreement with you on that. I can't imagine I would ever go stealth after transition, I suspect I'm likely to be the sort of person campagning for trans advocacy and marching under the rainbow flag for the rest of my life, and loving every minute of it.

[floit63]

Y'know, that's a way of explaining bisexual I hadn't heard of. I knew that I was annoyed at people who get all "bisexual is transphobic", but I couldn't place why exactly. Thank you!

I love Pride, but for the gay side of myself rather than the trans side. I had a friend whose parents started taking us to SF Pride when he came out at 13 so it's a huge part of my background. Trans...isn't really. To me it's like my asthma. Some people should know for health and safety reasons, but not everyone needs to.

Funny part is, I couldn't imagine being stealth when I first came out. I thought people who weren't 100% out and proud were denying a part of themselves. Then I started passing all the time and realised just how awkward it is to be out as trans when no one questions whether you're a guy or a girl.

[shrugs] These days explaining what may or may not be in my pants is more trouble than it's worth. Particularly since thinking about what's missing just makes me depressed. I still stand up for trans rights, but now people view me as an ally rather than a transperson.

[cyberspice]

I am stealthy. Basically i don't announce to the world that I'm trans (except possibly on here :-) but if anyone asks I don't deny it. I have friends who know and friends who don't. Most people in the street don't guess so I don't worry about it.

[floit63]

I'm similar. There are certain places I'd prefer not to be out and certain people who have no discretion, but for the most part if someone asks I have no objection to telling. Of course, that does require people asking and these days no one does so deciding which people need to be told can get kind of tricky.

[snakey]

Female - Same as above, but for people with vaginas, ovaries, uterus, etc.

You're seriously saying trans men are female? o_O (And that trans women aren't?)

[floit63]

Note the modifications under sex. Also note that FtM stands for Female to Male.

[snakey]

I will be interested to see how you modify your definitions as below.

[auntysarah]

Female - Same as above, but for people with vaginas, ovaries, uterus, etc.

Um, what?

[floit63]

It's taken with the modifications for the definition of sex. I'm going for easy med chart reading rather than making everyone happy with me.

[auntysarah]

So women who've had a radical hysterectomy aren't female?

I'm confused - I don't see the link between perpetuating cissexist stereotypes and being trans-positive. The two would seem to be in opposition to me.

[floit63]

Y'know what, you're right. I hadn't thought that one through long enough. I'll work on coming up with a better definition now =)

[cyberspice]

Since I don't have ovaries or a uterus am I not female then?

[floit63]

I've modified the definition of sex from what everyone likes as well. It's meant to be taken in context.

[cyberspice]

The problem is that FTM is a set encompassing other terms. I am a trans-woman. That means I am female (I am biologically little different from a cis-woman after a radical hysterectomy). I'm also FTM. Your list is not mutually exclusive.

[floit63]

I'm working on coming up with new definitions for female and male, I seem to have not thought them through well enough the first time around. Thanks for being so nice about it!

[cyberspice]

I meant to be saying MTF in that comment. Sorry if it was confusing. My brain isn't working right.

[floit63]

[grins] I figured